So there a movement to blog about cerebral palsy (CP) and link it all together under the CP Connection by this blog:
As you may have correctly guessed by now I’m a bit of a loner and terrible at joining communities. Mothers of Multiples, support groups for parents of kids with CP, all of them sound like torture to me. But since electronic networking takes no actual social effort on my part I’m happy to do it.
But what to write about? CP pretty much dominates this blog and let’s be honest, I’m not the blessings and rainbows kind of blogger most folks like to read.
So maybe I can try to talk about that, and ask the greater electronic world out there when I’ll be a better person because of this? After all, that is what conventional wisdom says, that I will become a better person and so will Greta, and mommy Shana, and even Gus and Jack for having overcome this “adversity”. I’m still waiting to be transformed.
As far as I’m concerned Greta’s stroke is the best advertisement for atheism I’ve ever seen. I still cry every time Shana and I talk about what to do, how to move on, how to let the past go. Dear readers, I must confess I am stuck. People say time heals all wounds but I still feel as raw as Greta’s newly scraped knee. And despite my being a well-educated woman of basically sound mind with decent interpersonal skills and sense of self, I can’t see a way out of this tunnel.
But there are benefits to being me (I think). Like not getting upset over $1,000 insurance bills. Or letting Greta watch the same movie over and over because it makes her snuggle into me on the couch. Or even laughing at silly work politics because unless you are telling me that Greta had another stroke, I really don’t get that upset.
And then of course there is Greta. Usually happy, a slight diva, easy to smile and slow to cry. Who is empathetic already, a phenomenal dancer, and loves all animals great and small. One might think, after reading the above, that I can’t appreciate what a wonderful and amazing child she is but I promise you that isn’t the case. I can see all these things in her but can’t keep my mind from playing the endless what if song.
So for all those parents who are better at this than I am let it be known that I am waiting to one day join your ranks but for now I will be here …waiting.