Blog posts by mommy Shana and mommy Jess

Three children, two moms, one C.P. diagnosis....and a partridge in a pear tree.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

How we Roll by mommy Shana


Although there isn't as much improvement in your physical mobility as I would have hoped for, I have noticed a significant improvement in our family's mobility and attitude in general. I think I have finally surrendered to the fact that our family will not be able to get around in the same was as other families who don't have the complexity of twins, a 4 year-old, and a child with a physical disability who weighs 29 1/2 pounds and who can't walk or crawl. So instead of doing what is easiest, just staying at home....I have decided that although I cannot change the world to fit our family's needs, I can try my hardest to fit our family into it.

I am beginning to relax a little more and stop caring so much about how we may appear to others. I ignore those who stare or avoid making eye contact with us when we try to talk to them. I used to stress out about outings "Kate Gosselin" style until I realized that not only was my fear preventing future outings, but it was pointless to worry about how others saw us. Reason? People will always stare at us. In fact, I've come to realize that those who are unhappy or insecure in themselves are the most quick to judge us. And really, why should I be worried about them?

It is true that our family gets stared at a lot. Twins alone can cause a bit of attention. But now it's pretty much a given where ever we go. It is the kind of stare like when you see a child riding a zebra through the mall with a hamster in its mouth, in other words, something unbelievable. I can only imagine what they are thinking. My guess is something like this... "which one is the mom?" "why did they have so many at once?" "is that little one an albino?" "are those twins?" "why is one twin walking and the other not?" "why is the girl scooting around in a weird way?" (you don't scoot normally, you scoot in a "wave" motion), "why are they letting the kids eat donuts in the cart before buying them?" "those are not organic cheeze-nips! Don't they care about nutrition?" "why is that 4 year old acting like a dinosaur?" and finally, "maybe this is some kind of polygamous sect".

In the past I would say something if I noticed people staring at us. I would try to explain the situation so they would understand and stop staring "Oh, Greta had a stroke so she can't move as well," "the kids didn't nap today so that's why Gus and Jack are wrestling WWF style", "Jack pretends to be a dinosaur because he has trouble making friends and gets nervous when people stare at him", "I'm giving them dum-dum's because they got shots today." After being greeted with blank stares I've since stopped this over-explaining on my part. I'm not sure yet if this is a geographical thing or just how people are now. I guess to most people, we are weird, that's for sure. But I'm glad we are the family that we are, because I secretly feel that In many ways, we are the perfect family! (shhh...don't tell anyone!)

So here is what we decided to do, for you, for us, for our family. First, we got a wagon and all 3 of you fit! I take you as far as you let me! We go to the local park, mall, store, library, anywhere we want to go. We take you swimming because you love it so much! Even though I haven't been seen in a bathing suit since I was nine I totally rock it in public for you! I let you guys get dirty, I let you scoot around as much as you want and where ever you want! Mommy Jess has even said that she will try to ride a bike again (after a brief hiatus following the rapid birth of three children) so we can have family bike time which I really enjoy! We have decided this family of 5 is going to live life and forget about the mess we make.

On another note, I do have something new to report.....you took 2 steps! Sure, you landed on your face and looked at me like I dropped you and that broke my heart...but you took 2 steps! You haven't done it again since, but at least i got to witness some improvement! You still don't crawl, you don't cruise across furniture, you stand with your legs far apart and you use one hand....all bummers. But no longer can i say your not improving, because you are! You can also go down the stairs by yourself! True, it's not conventional or even 100% safe (you are a bit of a daredevil). But you make it most of the time by sitting on the step and scooting until you fall to the next. The smile on your face during this process makes it worth the risk.

You are awesome Greta. Your the cutest, most precious chubby baby I will ever know. Your personality is coming through and even though you are particularly moody and pissed off lately (but usually only when forced into activity), you are also very content to be alone and to sleep in, something your brothers are incapable of doing and something I appreciate immensely! You are such a cool baby, and it is a shame that your CP seems to be getting in the way socially right now. But don't worry about any of that. Let's just keep going out in the world and being completely free and comfortable with ourselves and our family. I'm not ashamed or embarrassed of our family so why continue to try and "hide" what others see as uncomfortable? I will be me, you will be you, Jack will be Jack, Jess will be Jess, and Gus will be Gus. Nothing more....nothing less. This is just how we roll.

1 comment:

  1. Hooray for you, Shana!!! I only wish I could've learned that a lot earlier in my life. It was only when I was transferred to the receptionist/phone operator/ accounting position at work that I finally let go of the worry that I'd shock people when they stepped up to my reception desk. I learned it was THEIR problem. Not MINE!! And lo and behold, I made so many friends out there in the lobby that I had more fun than I'd ever thought possible.

    Not all people are stupid. Greta's personality will shine through over and above all else. Just wait and see!!

    Love, Aunt Monica

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