Blog posts by mommy Shana and mommy Jess

Three children, two moms, one C.P. diagnosis....and a partridge in a pear tree.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Mother's Day by mommy Jess




A quick Google search disabuses me of a notion I held dear, that mother’s day was just a made up fairytale holiday intended to fatten the pockets of Hallmark CEOs, and rather is something of an activist holiday with roots in ancient Greece. Not the first time I’ve been wrong (quiet mommy Shana) and probably not the last.

At any rate, it seems like at this age mother’s day is less about honoring us, your mothers, and more about thinking about motherhood as an institution. People are fond of asking us what we do on mother’s day (the general public seems to think we must choose one of us to act as “mother” for the day to get cards and presents) as though our traditions would be dramatically different. America in general is fond of breakfast in bed and sleeping in with useless presents and sentimental knickknacks peppered throughout the day. I can’t say we do that, but we do try to get each other things we like or things we need as a way of saying “hey, you loved these kids when they stank, when they cried all night, when they refused to wear pajamas for the 100th night in a row”. “You shared your expensive ice cream you had been saving for weeks, you used the money you had stashed for a tropical vacation on the good preschool, you put on sunscreen, and play in the sand, and buy the expensive juice with the better vitamin content”. And for that I salute you!

Greta, mothering you as a disabled child is a bit different but it is also a lot of the above. Just because we have an extra dash of orthotics and various therapies doesn’t change the nature of what we do. In our backyard our mothering of you doesn’t look that different (“stop biting your brother”, “quit eating sand”, “look Greta, a bird!”) it is only in public when your disability changes things. But before that gets you down consider that this is probably true for every one of our family members. After all in our backyard we feel like a completely normal family but once we leave it becomes clear that two moms is not the norm. Motherhood changes depending on location or spectator, but we don’t change, just the view from the outside. We are still the same people doing the same thing (“Gus quit pulling your sister’s hair for goodness sake!”)

So happy belated mother’s (mothers) day to all moms out there- here’s hoping you got what you wanted for the holiday in your name(s).

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